I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
