This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
