sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
