Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
