i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
