Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
