That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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