I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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