got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
