Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize