Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
