I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize