worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
