Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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