I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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