White coat. Heels.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
