It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
