One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
