Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
did you just send me my own nude
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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