If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
