I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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