shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
