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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm so hungover and dru,k

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Writing my paper on freud at bar

  (917): View more from New York City

  ??

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children

  (917): View more from New York City

  Smooth

  Fav 8 2061 1059

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed

  Fav 30 998 4224

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.

  Fav 6 3507 1171

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.

  Fav 2 1433 785

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"

  Fav 4 1994 802

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow.

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• (718): View more from New York

  We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra

  Fav 2 676 492

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?

  Fav 1 64 18

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