Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize