nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
