You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
