You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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