Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
