did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
