cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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