My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
