Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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