Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
