Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
