when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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