Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Couch. On fire.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
