He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
