And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize