Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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