Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
