I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So. Much. Porn.
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