Cold hands, warm shart.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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