What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
