i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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