I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
