I looked at my own cervix.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
