Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
