It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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