lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
