I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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