Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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