don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize