my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Randomize
