if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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