why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
