we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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