found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize