i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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