Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
