Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
