I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
